The Psychological Pressures of Being a Carer: Impact on Mental Health and the Importance of Self-Care

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Caring for a loved one due to age, illness, or disability is a noble and often deeply rewarding endeavour. However, the psychological pressures of being a carer are immense and can significantly impact mental health. This role involves a complex mix of emotional, physical, and psychological challenges. Understanding these pressures, recognising the importance of self-care, and seeking professional support are crucial steps towards maintaining mental health and well-being as a carer.

The Psychological Pressures of Being a Carer

1. Emotional Strain

Caring for a loved one can evoke a wide range of emotions. Feelings of guilt, resentment, frustration, and sadness are common. Carers may feel guilt over not being able to do more, resentment towards the circumstances that have changed their lives, frustration due to the unrelenting demands of caregiving, and sadness over their loved one’s decline or suffering.

Carers often experience high levels of emotional stress due to the dual burden of providing care and managing their own lives. This stress can lead to chronic anxiety and depression, exacerbating physical health issues.

2. Social Isolation

The demands of caregiving often result in carers sacrificing their social lives. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection from friends and family. Research by Larkin and Milne (2014) indicates that social isolation is a significant risk factor for poor mental health among carers. They often find it challenging to participate in social activities, leading to a reduction in social support networks, which are vital for mental well-being.

3. Physical Exhaustion

The physical demands of caregiving, including lifting, assisting with mobility, and managing daily activities, can lead to physical exhaustion. Over time, this can result in chronic health issues such as back pain, cardiovascular problems, and fatigue. The physical toll of caregiving compounds the emotional and psychological pressures, creating a vicious cycle of declining health and increasing stress.

4. Financial Pressure

Carers often face significant financial strain. Many must reduce their working hours or leave employment altogether to provide care. This economic burden adds another layer of stress, impacting their ability to access resources and support. A survey by Carers UK (2021) found that nearly 40% of carers were struggling to make ends meet, further contributing to their overall stress levels.

5. Role Conflict

Balancing caregiving with other responsibilities, such as work, parenting, or household management, creates role conflict. This conflict can lead to a sense of being overwhelmed and an inability to fulfil any role effectively. Carers often experience significant stress due to competing demands, affecting their overall sense of competency and self-esteem.

Why Carers Tend to Neglect Their Own Mental Health

1. Core Beliefs That Hinder Self-Care

Despite understanding the importance of self-care, many carers struggle to prioritise their own mental health needs. This neglect often stems from deeply ingrained core beliefs that shape their attitudes and behaviours. Core beliefs are the fundamental views individuals hold about themselves, others, and the world. Often formed early in life, these beliefs influence behaviour and how individuals respond to various situations.

  • Belief in Self-Sacrifice: Many carers hold a core belief that their needs are less important than those of the person they are caring for. This belief can lead to self-neglect and an inability to prioritise self-care activities. Carers with a strong belief in self-sacrifice are more likely to experience burnout and decreased mental health. This self-sacrificial attitude can prevent carers from taking the necessary steps to care for themselves, even when they recognise the need to do so.
  • Perfectionism: The belief that one must provide perfect care can lead to unrealistic expectations and chronic stress. Carers who strive for perfection may find it difficult to accept help or delegate tasks, exacerbating feelings of burden and inadequacy. Perfectionist tendencies in carers often result in higher levels of stress and poorer mental health outcomes.
  • Fear of Judgement: Some carers fear judgement from others if they admit to struggling or needing help. This fear can prevent them from seeking support or respite, leading to increased isolation and stress. The fear of being seen as inadequate or failing in their caregiving role can discourage carers from reaching out for help, even when it is desperately needed.

These core beliefs can significantly influence a carer’s mental health and well-being. Believing that self-care is a form of selfishness can lead carers to continually put their needs last, increasing their risk of burnout and emotional exhaustion. Perfectionistic attitudes create immense pressure to meet unattainable standards, fostering chronic stress and a sense of failure when these standards are unmet. Additionally, the fear of judgement may inhibit carers from sharing their struggles or seeking the support they need, leading to feelings of isolation and helplessness. These patterns can create a cycle where the carer’s mental health deteriorates, and feelings of guilt and shame could increase, further compromising their ability to provide care effectively.

2. Societal and Cultural Expectations

Societal and cultural expectations can also contribute to caregivers’ neglect of self-care. Many cultures value self-sacrifice and duty, particularly in the context of family caregiving. These values can pressure caregivers to prioritise their caregiving responsibilities above all else, often to the detriment of their own health and well-being.

3. Lack of Time and Resources

The practical demands of caregiving leave little time for self-care. Carers may struggle to carve out time for themselves amidst their caregiving duties. Additionally, financial constraints can limit access to resources such as professional counselling or respite care, making it difficult for carers to prioritise their own mental health needs (Carers UK, 2021).

The Importance of Self-Care

1. Recognising the Need for Self-Care

Self-care is essential for maintaining mental and physical health. However, carers often neglect their own needs, prioritising the well-being of their loved ones. Recognising the need for self-care is the first step towards sustaining a balanced life. According to Collins and Swartz (2011), carers who engage in regular self-care activities report better mental health outcomes and increased resilience against stress.

2. Practical Self-Care Strategies

  • Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries between caregiving responsibilities and personal time helps in managing stress. It is essential to set limits on what can reasonably be done and to communicate these boundaries to others involved in the care process.
  • Seeking Respite: Regular breaks from caregiving duties are crucial. Utilising respite care services or seeking help from family members can provide much-needed time for rest and recuperation.
  • Engaging in Hobbies: Pursuing personal interests and hobbies helps carers maintain a sense of identity and joy outside their caregiving role. Activities such as reading, gardening, or participating in a sport can effectively reduce stress and enhance mental well-being.
  • Maintaining Social Connections: Staying connected with friends and family provides emotional support and helps combat feelings of isolation. Regular social interactions can also buffer against stress and improve overall mental health (Larkin & Milne, 2014).

How Professional Support by a Clinical Psychologist Can Help

1. Addressing Core Beliefs

Clinical psychologists can help carers identify and challenge unhelpful core beliefs. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), a widely used approach, involves recognising and re-evaluating negative thought patterns and beliefs. By working with a psychologist, carers can develop more balanced and realistic views about their caregiving role and their right to self-care (Beck, 2011). Addressing core beliefs about self-sacrifice, perfectionism, and fear of judgement can help carers shift towards healthier attitudes and behaviours.

2. Developing Coping Strategies

Psychologists can assist carers in developing effective coping strategies to manage stress and emotional strain. Techniques such as mindfulness, relaxation exercises, and problem-solving skills can be tailored to the individual needs of the carer, providing them with tools to navigate the challenges of caregiving more effectively (Baer, 2003). These strategies can help carers manage their stress levels and improve their well-being.

3. Enhancing Emotional Support

Therapy provides a safe space for caregivers to express their feelings and experiences without fear of judgment. This emotional support can be crucial in helping caregivers process their emotions, reduce feelings of isolation, and build resilience against stress. Emotional support from a psychologist can provide caregivers with the validation and understanding they need to navigate the challenges of caregiving.

4. Encouraging Self-Compassion

Clinical psychologists can help carers develop self-compassion, which involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding during difficult times. Research by Neff (2003) suggests that self-compassion is associated with better mental health outcomes and increased well-being. By fostering a more compassionate relationship with themselves, carers can improve their capacity for self-care and reduce the negative impact of caregiving on their mental health.

5. Facilitating Access to Resources

Psychologists can also help carers navigate available resources and support systems. This includes connecting them with support groups, respite care services, and educational resources about caregiving. Access to these resources can alleviate some of caregiving’s practical and emotional burdens (Carers UK, 2021). Professional guidance can help carers find the support they need to maintain their health and well-being while caring for their loved ones.


The role of a carer is both demanding and rewarding, but it comes with significant psychological pressures that can impact mental health. Recognising these pressures, understanding the importance of self-care, and challenging unhelpful core beliefs are crucial to maintaining well-being. Despite knowing the importance of self-care, many carers neglect their own mental health needs due to unhelpful core beliefs, societal expectations, and practical constraints. Professional support from a clinical psychologist can give carers the tools and support they need to manage their caregiving responsibilities while caring for themselves. By prioritising self-care and seeking help, carers can enhance their resilience and continue to provide compassionate care for their loved ones.

Select References

Baer, R. A. (2003). Mindfulness training as a clinical intervention: A conceptual and empirical review. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 125-143.

Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive behaviour therapy: Basics and beyond (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Carers UK. (2021). Caring behind closed doors: Six months on.

Larkin, M., & Milne, A. (2014). Carers and empowerment in the UK: A critical reflection. Social Policy and Society, 13(1), 25-38. Carers and Empowerment in the UK: A Critical Reflection | Social Policy and Society | Cambridge Core

Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223-250.

Schulz, R., & Sherwood, P. R. (2008). Physical and mental health effects of family caregiving. American Journal of Nursing, 108(9 Suppl), 23-27.

Vitaliano, P. P., Zhang, J., & Scanlan, J. M. (2003). Is caregiving hazardous to one’s physical health? A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 129(6), 946-972.